Paradox

As I sit writing my essay on the two famous plays "Oedipus," and "Hamlet" I find myself theorizing on the great debate of fate and freewill--the two, allegedly, cannot coexist. If you are in complete control of your actions, and your actions lead to an end that someone, or something else, has chosen, then didn't the other person/thing ultimately control you? In my opinion if you choose your actions, you choose them. You make the "means" whether or not someone has prepared an "end."

I have actually pondered quite a bit over fate and freewill throughout the semester--it was a subject that my (awesome) English teacher presented to my class right at the beginning of it. It seems that the paradox exists in real life, which, yes I know (TRUST ME I KNOW), is not supposed to exist at all (this whole sentence in itself is a paradox.... humorous). But I have come to a theory, that in the "real world," every single person's personal freewill is counterbalancing each others', which is in turn creating fate--instances in which people cannot personally control. In fact the only way that someone could have complete control of their own environment would to be a hermit; they couldn't be in a situation where they could be affected by other people at all. No family, no work, and no school (this applies to both students and teachers). Of course, even if one completely detaches oneself from other people, there is still the weather to reckon with.

I believe there will always be a little "fate" in the "mix" of life--to me there are no absolutes. Though, I still believe that you can have more control over your life than not, and that one is only a complete victim by one's own choice.

Current Playlist:

My thoughts

Slower Than Usual

Yesterday didn't go... at all. Had an allergic reaction to who-knows-what, took two benadryl and was pretty much incapable of movement for the rest of the day. My mind is still not functioning that well today. Though, I still think I will be able to accomplish a good math review, and work on my essays some. Math= super easy, essays= already planned out, so mostly just typing with minimal thinking required.

Rest of the day? Laundry and general cleaning. Also going to research books about wheat free and meat free foods. Seem to be reacting badly to those both of those things lately.

Songs are on shuffle today, I'll see where my Ipod takes me.

The Day

Today is fantastic..... or superlative (a better word). Went to the coffee shop first thing in the morning (drink of the day= iced coffee w/milk... simplicity), with a very enjoyable person. Which means that I was able to converse with him on the topic of the difference of playing the violin and the piano, and why I prefer the Baroque period over the Classic, without him getting bored. Bonus was..... he was actually able to participate in the conversation, and give me his own input on the matter (which I happened to agree with... shocking).

It is quite nice to have someone, besides my teacher, to talk to about things of this nature--It always feels good to be duplicated. Speaking of my teacher, I found more articles on L.A. Opera's version of of Wagner's "Ring" cycle to take to him, a version we both find to be quite "interesting" (yes, it is in quotation marks for a reason). We can be snobby together! Honesty is a virtue....

The rest of today will be devoted to violin practice and piano practice, and then to my many, many essays. I am actually kind of excited about the newing bowing techniques my teacher assigned. As for piano, all the notes have been learned, and it is now a matter of repetition. I'm only going to focus on this one piece until finals end. Then I will finish mastering the 2nd movement of Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" (really "Fantasia", which is what Beethoven intended to call it. "Moonlight," was much too romantic of a title for the grumpy man).

Today's playlist:

1. Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heartbroken by Camera Obscura

(There is actually organ and strings being utilized in this song. I feel as if I should be disgusted by this, such sophisticated instruments being used for a pop piece. But besides what my mind is telling me, I find this song charming. My intellect will have to rule later.)

2. Fools by The Dodos

(The singers voice is something to listen to, has an interesting quality. The repetition kind of reminds me of a basso continuo.)

3. Wrapped In Piano Strings by Radical Face

(Lyrics= superlative, instrumental use= amazing, and the title is obviously of good merit.)

4. TAM by The Spires

(Like the indie quality, like the way the singers sings, is good when one is in a mindless mood).

Morning.... no Morningish (a brilliant word)

I have violin this afternoon, instead of tomorrow morning. Schedule change doesn't cause a problem, and there is an advantage, which is that I can practice before I see my teacher. A nice warm up; my muscles might actually do the proper thing while in class.

I think violin is actually a whole body and mind workout. Fingering must be right, and then shoulder must be relaxed, and so must the arm (this concept has always annoyed me, because you are using the arm to bow, so muscles must be engaged!). But I'm actually starting to understand this whole muscle engaged-but-relaxed thing, and the hindrances of being a beginner violinist are fading--I am actually starting to play pieces! A goal that I have permitted myself to feel gratified upon reaching. It is actually non-instant gratification, something I approve of.

And now I'm learning the same piece on the violin and the piano.... slightly excited about it.

Besides violin and piano, I have been equally busy with schoolwork, if not more busy. I am going to be engaging myself in the exciting process of writing essays! Sarcasm? Slightly. I have found myself enjoying my essays, but I'm starting to get bored of the topics I have been given. I must have an original idea on the subjects given, but have to find research to back up this original thought. Paradox? Catch 22? Irony???? All of the above. But I can play this game. :)

At least I will be able accomplish math without much effort, if any at all. My teacher told me I could fail the final and still get an A in the class. A tempting thought.... Joke.

My demanding day shall begin with these pieces:

1. Symphony No. 5 In D Major, Op. 107 by Mendelssohn

(I don't believe I have to explain the reason for my choice)

2. Sonata in D Major, Op. 1 No. 13 (HWV 371): II. Allegro by Handle

(Energized much? Well now I am)

3. Pachelbel's Canon in D Major by Pachelbel

(Always found it weird how is name is in the title; I'm sure it wasn't there originally, and I'm sure our culture is responsible for this mutilation. Either way, I know this piece is , cliché but don't judge. We all go there sometimes.)

4. Waltz in C sharp minor by Chopin

(Romantic, but not so Romantic that I get distracted. Serious... like it.)

Awake

I should be sleeping. Have to get up early for finals prep. My mind is busy, with superfluous things, and is not equipped for study. However, I am not annoyed. I'm happy, in a way that comes when one is alone with one's thoughts, and is listening to good music.

I searched for some new songs tonight. Wasn't in the mood for classical music, but instead was in the mood for some indie-acoustic jams.

Tonight's playlist is:

1. Fall Hard by the Shout Out Louds

2. Stole My Heart by Little&Ashley

3. The Start of Something by Voxtrot

4. Learned to Surf (acoustic version) by Superchunk

All are love songs.... coincidence? No.