End of Semester

This morning I've been staring at my breakfast for quite some time. It's an innocent enough looking yogurt, but it's all natural and only lightly sweetened with agave nectar. Not to mention it's packed full of live cultures, and has 16 grams of protein per serving. It is disgusting. But I have to eat one every morning. I hope it is well worth it.

On another note, I discovered that the record player at my house does in fact work, for some reason I was led to believe otherwise... And today I found my mom's old records. I was highly surprised to find that she has more Bach records that I have Bach CDs. These, among others, I will have to explore. I think I'll be moving the record player to my room after she leaves. As of now, we will have to share it. I've actually been trying to change my room a good bit.

I've been trying to change everything a good bit. I am determined to work out a schedule in which I can fit everything in, or at least 80 percent of it. This would be a feat considering everything I have to accomplish.

But the break will be a nice time to recollect. I will be studying some over the break. I plan on working on my music theory, as well as reading one of Copeland's books on music, and a book on biology. I think reading about biology is the most important, as I have never actually tested my strengths in science. I can't risk doing bad in my science classes, and would like to take them with honors if possible.

Thought 1

It's interesting being the "new kid." At first everyone is excited to meet you, and then after the initial curiosity fades, it seems that one really cares; the curiosity was superficial and they didn't really lose focus on their selves.

Actually, it's just odd how disconnected people can make themselves from anyone.

Blah blah blah blah

My cat keeps bringing me socks, which I think in her mind are mice. Either way, they seem to be gifts of love. Maybe she knows I'm more stressed than usual. I'm not allowed to take my brace off yet, as apparently my wrist is not fully healed. This limits the songs I am able to play at the moment, because well, I can't really play chords with a brace on. And my teacher has decided I need play super easy pieces, so as to not strain my wrist. Now I am on the search for a piece that is easy, but doesn't sound annoying, for my next recital. Oh, what an annoying search. I think I have decided on "Melody" by Schumann. A step down, but at least it's not "Play a Chord."

I have been off the violin now for over a month. I miss it very much. I was just starting to get good, which in my opinion "getting good" is a big step on the violin. I hope I don't fall behind. If I do, I'll just have to work extra hard to catch up again.

Also, what the is going on with Grieg's "In the Hall of the Mountain King,"? Sugarplum Fairies much???? Just, why copy that theme?????

Oh Life...

First off, road trip was awesome. Secondly, so much has changed. Third of all, what now? I'm not sure. Not totally at least. My right hand is in a brace, and even though I know that I'll be back to music in a couple of weeks I feel as if I have been stopped on my life's purpose. Dramatic? Of course. I'm good at that. :D

School is good, I'm just not in the groove. Oh, the vocabulary is disappointing me tonight... just stay with me. Tomorrow is my Western Civ. II midterm. Not excited. I hate midterms. It's like the final, but without the relief that it's your last test for the semester.

This semester is interesting. Less classes, more friends, plus a new job, and then of course even more friend. I think I'm being social.

On another note, WHY ARE THERE SO MANY REMAKES OF "TIME AFTER TIME"???????

I am also now off of coffee, and chocolate. If I can give them up, so can you. Well, I have the motivation of healing my arm to back that decision up.

Tonight's playlist:

1. Chewing Bottles by Radical Face
2. Glamorous Glowing by Cast Spells
3. Runaway by The National
4. Normandie by The Shout Out Louds

Now go listen and be amazed!

It's Been Awhile: An Update

So... I have been gone for awhile. Things have happened. In this order: 1. Found out my aunt had cancer (for lack of a better word, this is BAD). 2. Found out I was going on a road trip with my sister, and then visiting family, will be gone for three weeks (excited, but also upset about missing music lessons). 3. Found out I made the President's Honor list, which surprised me slightly, not because of my grade point average, which is perfect, but because I thought I had to wait another semester to get on the list. So that brightened my attitude a little. 4. My friend died. This put me in the worst mood I've been in, in a long time. So with all the excitement, and bad news, I haven't really felt up to blogging. My mind has been distracted to say the least. But now I feel like talking, and blogging is an easy substitute.

I miss my teachers more than someone normally should. I miss going to the classical, serious, music shows. I feel out of my element. I miss the rush of finishing an particularly hard essay, or an easy one for that matter. I've stayed in touch with some of my friends from college, but I have found they are not that "academic" when away from college. I think I've reached a new level of snobby.

I've devoted all my time to music practice (which today is lacking because I bruised my wrist), SAT prep, and reading Atlas Shrugged (which I've decided is on my "Top Five Books" list). The thought of the SAT, and the two SAT subject tests I have to take, is unnerving me a bit. I know I will do fine on all three tests, but anxiety often fails to reason with knowledge. Moreover, I don't know what I'll do if I don't get excepted to the Universities I want to transfer too. My life is academia.

The music part of all this seems to be going fairly well. I am making good progress on my pieces. My performance on the violin is better, to my own ear and to others. My piano playing is also better, but I am more bothered by it because this is the instrument which I will audition on for transferring purposes. I have been getting quite friendly with my metronome, which I have always hated... with a passion. I no longer fight with it, and I am progressively getting better at listening to it and concentrating on my fingering at the same time. Though, the other night I had one of those moments where you're not sure whether your hearing the notes and the ticking of the metronome at the same time or not--a completely "zoned out" moment so to speak. For the record, it was time to go to bed.

I also have a list of things I need to do at the college once the semester starts, such as start the music club, join the honors program, join the honors society, and see a transfer councilor. All of this can be more time consuming that needed.

I wish I could invent time.

Just Ranting

I've begun to realize exactly how much work has to be done and how much effort has to be put into my piano practice to be fully prepared by the time of transferring--I am in a slight panic. I am expected to learn pieces that people have told me that I'll never be able to play; of course I always thought that I would be able to, it's just I wasn't expected to be told I would HAVE to play them so soon. I am, apparently, expected to learn the WHOLE of Moonlight Sonata. Many of you, I am assuming, know the first movement. The famous, overplayed, moody first movement. Barely any of you know the cheery, charming, second movement which I am currently learning. More of you, especially those you make it a habit to listen to or play dramatic, or shall we say INTENSE, piano music, know the third movement than the second--the one that should send you to the hospital after playing it. I am told I will be learning that movement. At least I am of the determined sort.

Besides the second movement of Moonlight, I am also learning prelude in C sharp minor from the Well Tempered Clavier. It is a rather fun piece, or satisfying, which would be better way to put it. I personally enjoy playing Bach more than any other composer so far. I also enjoy listening to Bach more than any other composer. I have also been working on my scales, multiple octaves, and am happy to say that I have gotten the fingering patterns down pretty well. Actually playing scales this way is becoming slightly addictive... :D

I've also been busy studying for my SATs. On the practice exam I got 100% on the essay section. I'm glad there is no work to be done in that area, and I can focus instead on some other areas. I still need to decide what I'm going to choose as my second SAT subject test.

Atlas Shrugged is turning into a fabulous read; I believe I like it better than Fountain Head. I love how Ayn Rand's characters are so aware of every emotion they are feeling, and how they react. I love how she shows just how ambitious one can be, and how much one can accomplish, and she presents it as a virtue. I love slipping into the "world" she creates... it's just better.

Playlist for today:

1. Prélude in C Sharp Minor, Op. 3, No. 2 by Sergei Rachmaninoff

(Sounds amazing, wonderful... deeply moving. I suppose this piece makes me feel the way the first movement of Moonlight makes others feel.)

2. Sonata In B Flat Major Op. 106 - Andante Quasi Allegretto by Felix Mendelssohn

(I love Mendelssohn, he is probably in my top five composers list. This piece is very charming, but still holds a serious value.)

Update

I took a week off. I spent the entire time sleeping and reading superfluous books that didn't benefit my mind in any grand way. Now I am back and ready to get some things done.

I started private piano lessons, and I enjoy my teacher very much. She is not only interesting in the performing side but also takes the theory and musicology side seriously. She has me listening to pieces and researching the history of them. The piece she has me working on right now is the second movement of Moonlight Sonata. My timing is off, but so far my notes are right. I am determined to accomplish this piece.

Violin is going well too. Working extremely hard, and I am on a new minuet. I am told my bowing technique is getting better, but it is always a little hard to determine one's own progress.

Over all I feel I must work even harder at my music to catch up for not having the opportunity to play when I was younger.

Besides music, I have working hard on essays for various competitions, and preparing for my SATs, because all the colleges and universities I want to transfer to require excellency. :D

I'm also figuring out where I would like to volunteer. There are some really interesting places that I think I would like to donate my time to.

On a less serious note, my birthday is fast approaching and I am told I will probably get the camera I want for it. I am rather excited.

I Don't Like

1. That I recommend wonderful music to people that I later hold great contempt for. Wonderful music becomes a part of people, and the people I greatly dislike don't deserve to have such things be a part of them.

2. Why most of the modern books (not classics) on sale are Romance novels. These are superfluous to me.

3. That every time I walk by the new candy shop the song "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent starts playing in my head.

4. The name 50 cent, it should be "50 cents." "50," implies that there is more than one, and therefore it is PLURAL not SINGULAR.

5. That almost every time I'm having an intellectual conversation I end using the word "awesome," or "that's cool," to express my enthusiasm for the particular topic of discussion. I've never even like the word "cool"....... I do like the word "awesome." Unfortunately.

6. The amount of STUPID vampire books. Apparently, in these modern times, vampires go academies, sparkle in the sunlight, and fall in love with humans. Pretty soon they'll stop drinking blood. What would Bram Stoker say?

7. Every pianist seems to specialize in Beethoven.

8. That I can't understand most text messages I receive. People aren't using abbreviations anymore, they are creating their own idiotic language.

9. The poetry of today.... at least most of it. I don't understand the motive behind most modern poets. I don't know what their trying to communicate, therefore their work has no meaning to me.

Thoughts On Fiction/Updates On LIfe

I believe that fiction is really truth--if written well. I have often learned more from reading a fictional book than from reading a one full of facts. Fiction was the first to expose me the hard truth that people can be evil, or that they can be of low integrity. I have also seen, through fiction, what heights people can rise to. There are endless lessons to learn from reading a book of fiction; fiction is a kind of guide book to life. Facts are things that have happened, or are true, but through fiction we can observe why these things might happen.

Besides contemplating the benefits of fiction, I have been busy with many other things. Yesterday I created an outline for my documentary, and starting reading a non-fictional (yes I know, THE IRONY) book called "The Life of the Intellectual," it is an old book, beautifully written, that must be read by every intellectual. I will post more on this work once I have read more of it. I assure you, there will be much to say.

I also went to violin lessons today, I started a new Bach minuet (very happy that I am making progress), and I signed up for private piano lessons (so I will continue to make progress on the piano).

Today I still have a lot to get done. Must do some preparation for two essay competitions, go grocery shopping, practice piano, read, write, and compose a few letters... oh, and grocery shopping. I would also like to take a nap, but my mind, once again, won't stop going, so I must persist with the rest of the goals for today.

Finals= Over, Life= Still Busy

Finals officially ended on Monday night. I went straight from my English final to my piano final (I was still contemplating Ayn Rand while performing my Bach minuet). So glad finals are over, and that I have a break from school. I really do believe I needed one; I was starting to write essays in my dreams (none of which helped me with my schoolwork though, they were mostly compare and contrasts on fruit of all things). And I feel as I am having a "finals" hangover. Is such a thing possible? Thinking powers are low, I am physically exhausted, and want to sit in the bookstore all day reading superfluous things. I don't feel as I am free yet, I don't feel as if any restrictions have been lifted. Maybe this is because I have a lot I have to accomplish over the summer. I am still glad to be away from the classroom for a little bit. However, I miss my teachers, and I will probably want to be back in the class room within three weeks.

Now, I am focusing more on my piano and violin. Oh, and there are essay competitions to be attended to, and some photography to have fun with. Did I mention how much I missed my creative writing? Lots of things to do still, but I get to create my schedule, and there will be no test anxiety! I will not conduct myself by the judgment of others, I am the only one to judge my work.

Some Relief

I am honestly ready for finals to be over. I'm tired of writing essays on overplayed topics. I'm tired of "playing ball," so to speak (funny that "so to speak," is used after a colloquial term to show that your using a colloquial phrase, but it's a colloquial phrase itself). But the good news is I seem to making steady progress on these essays, and I will finish them in time with perfection.

Bad news is coffee and chocolate are failing.... my usual conduits for revitalization. Feeling a little better tonight though. Being extra careful about what I eat (no meat at all, no processed chemically food, and of course no wheat), seems to finally be helping some.

Piano piece is coming along nicely. The only thing I have to worry about is getting nervous when playing in front of my fellow students. Something I seem to have no control over, even if my mind is calm my hands start shaking, and if my hands are calm my mind goes blank. I am determined to move pass this. Perhaps try to do some other performances?

Oh, and I need to start looking for private piano teacher. Excited! This summer will be the ultimate summer of improvement. Great things will happen.

Tomorrow morning is violin lessons. Super happy about this, as it is a very nice way to start the day. :D

Busy Schedule, Busy Mind

First off, I have finished my first final. Math= demolished. I finished the test an hour early, and so did the problems again, and then figured out different ways to do them.... and then figured out different ways to prove them. I still left early... happy and relieved! My professor could have designed the test so that everyone would fail.

A funny thing that happened, is I finally talked to this other student who I had noticed the whole semester. He was quiet throughout the whole semester, but was always taking notes or working out problems that the teacher had put up on the board. Turns out he is a very smart 16 year old that can carry on a conversation than most people, which I didn't totally expect. It's nice to talk to intelligent people. :)

I'm about ready for this semester to be over. I will miss my teachers a lot (who else is going to listen to my, as my sister calls it,"geek talk"?), but I'm so physically exhausted. I'll still be busy with all my essay competitions and music lessons when the finals are finally over, but I'll probably have more time to focus on the needs of my body, instead of just the needs of my brain.

Much more going on, but just too tired to write it.

Waking Up... Still?

My thoughts this morning:

What is that? Oh it's my cat. Why is she meowing at me? Oh she has a sock, which she presents as a gift... of many. I am surrounded by socks. Where on earth did all these socks come from? I thought I kept them in drawers. All of my drawers are closed! My cat is magic.

Fall back to sleep. Dog (Charlie) starts whining. Wants out to pee.

Damn it. Maybe if I just ignore it... no, that's a bad idea. Charlie will pee on floor, then I'll have to get up AND clean up pee. Should just get up now.

I get up and let Charlie out. A few minutes later I let her back in.

What is that smell? What is that? That isn't normal. That smell is on Charlie. This is not good. Charlie apparently made friends with a skunk this morning... or many.

And so that has been my morning. My animals presented me with many uh, "situations," before I even had a chance to properly prepare myself for the day. However, I have managed to get a lot of violin practice in. Violin practice really forces you to wake up--coordination! So I feel that I am almost ready to begin the other "chores" of the day.

I have to clean some more. Have a guest coming over later, and thanks to Charlie I now have to figure out how to get rid of that smell. Not to mention the socks, which have migrated all over the house. All over! And of course there are the essays that I must attend to. And piano. Would like to at least get an hour of piano in.

Playlist:

1. Variations On a Noel by Dupre

(Pleasant, fascinating... wakes me up intellectually.)

2. Cantata, BWV 21 by Bach

(Same as above, but makes me feel more creative--perfect for essays.)

3. Waltz #2 In A Flat, Op. 34/1, "Valse Brillante" by Chopin

(Inspired? Yes. Determined to practice now? Of course.)

4. Etude #12 In C Minor, Op. 10/12, CT 25, "Revolutionary" by Chopin

(Not only am I inspired and determined, but now I am also highly energized. I bet you are too.)

Paradox

As I sit writing my essay on the two famous plays "Oedipus," and "Hamlet" I find myself theorizing on the great debate of fate and freewill--the two, allegedly, cannot coexist. If you are in complete control of your actions, and your actions lead to an end that someone, or something else, has chosen, then didn't the other person/thing ultimately control you? In my opinion if you choose your actions, you choose them. You make the "means" whether or not someone has prepared an "end."

I have actually pondered quite a bit over fate and freewill throughout the semester--it was a subject that my (awesome) English teacher presented to my class right at the beginning of it. It seems that the paradox exists in real life, which, yes I know (TRUST ME I KNOW), is not supposed to exist at all (this whole sentence in itself is a paradox.... humorous). But I have come to a theory, that in the "real world," every single person's personal freewill is counterbalancing each others', which is in turn creating fate--instances in which people cannot personally control. In fact the only way that someone could have complete control of their own environment would to be a hermit; they couldn't be in a situation where they could be affected by other people at all. No family, no work, and no school (this applies to both students and teachers). Of course, even if one completely detaches oneself from other people, there is still the weather to reckon with.

I believe there will always be a little "fate" in the "mix" of life--to me there are no absolutes. Though, I still believe that you can have more control over your life than not, and that one is only a complete victim by one's own choice.

Current Playlist:

My thoughts

Slower Than Usual

Yesterday didn't go... at all. Had an allergic reaction to who-knows-what, took two benadryl and was pretty much incapable of movement for the rest of the day. My mind is still not functioning that well today. Though, I still think I will be able to accomplish a good math review, and work on my essays some. Math= super easy, essays= already planned out, so mostly just typing with minimal thinking required.

Rest of the day? Laundry and general cleaning. Also going to research books about wheat free and meat free foods. Seem to be reacting badly to those both of those things lately.

Songs are on shuffle today, I'll see where my Ipod takes me.

The Day

Today is fantastic..... or superlative (a better word). Went to the coffee shop first thing in the morning (drink of the day= iced coffee w/milk... simplicity), with a very enjoyable person. Which means that I was able to converse with him on the topic of the difference of playing the violin and the piano, and why I prefer the Baroque period over the Classic, without him getting bored. Bonus was..... he was actually able to participate in the conversation, and give me his own input on the matter (which I happened to agree with... shocking).

It is quite nice to have someone, besides my teacher, to talk to about things of this nature--It always feels good to be duplicated. Speaking of my teacher, I found more articles on L.A. Opera's version of of Wagner's "Ring" cycle to take to him, a version we both find to be quite "interesting" (yes, it is in quotation marks for a reason). We can be snobby together! Honesty is a virtue....

The rest of today will be devoted to violin practice and piano practice, and then to my many, many essays. I am actually kind of excited about the newing bowing techniques my teacher assigned. As for piano, all the notes have been learned, and it is now a matter of repetition. I'm only going to focus on this one piece until finals end. Then I will finish mastering the 2nd movement of Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" (really "Fantasia", which is what Beethoven intended to call it. "Moonlight," was much too romantic of a title for the grumpy man).

Today's playlist:

1. Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heartbroken by Camera Obscura

(There is actually organ and strings being utilized in this song. I feel as if I should be disgusted by this, such sophisticated instruments being used for a pop piece. But besides what my mind is telling me, I find this song charming. My intellect will have to rule later.)

2. Fools by The Dodos

(The singers voice is something to listen to, has an interesting quality. The repetition kind of reminds me of a basso continuo.)

3. Wrapped In Piano Strings by Radical Face

(Lyrics= superlative, instrumental use= amazing, and the title is obviously of good merit.)

4. TAM by The Spires

(Like the indie quality, like the way the singers sings, is good when one is in a mindless mood).

Morning.... no Morningish (a brilliant word)

I have violin this afternoon, instead of tomorrow morning. Schedule change doesn't cause a problem, and there is an advantage, which is that I can practice before I see my teacher. A nice warm up; my muscles might actually do the proper thing while in class.

I think violin is actually a whole body and mind workout. Fingering must be right, and then shoulder must be relaxed, and so must the arm (this concept has always annoyed me, because you are using the arm to bow, so muscles must be engaged!). But I'm actually starting to understand this whole muscle engaged-but-relaxed thing, and the hindrances of being a beginner violinist are fading--I am actually starting to play pieces! A goal that I have permitted myself to feel gratified upon reaching. It is actually non-instant gratification, something I approve of.

And now I'm learning the same piece on the violin and the piano.... slightly excited about it.

Besides violin and piano, I have been equally busy with schoolwork, if not more busy. I am going to be engaging myself in the exciting process of writing essays! Sarcasm? Slightly. I have found myself enjoying my essays, but I'm starting to get bored of the topics I have been given. I must have an original idea on the subjects given, but have to find research to back up this original thought. Paradox? Catch 22? Irony???? All of the above. But I can play this game. :)

At least I will be able accomplish math without much effort, if any at all. My teacher told me I could fail the final and still get an A in the class. A tempting thought.... Joke.

My demanding day shall begin with these pieces:

1. Symphony No. 5 In D Major, Op. 107 by Mendelssohn

(I don't believe I have to explain the reason for my choice)

2. Sonata in D Major, Op. 1 No. 13 (HWV 371): II. Allegro by Handle

(Energized much? Well now I am)

3. Pachelbel's Canon in D Major by Pachelbel

(Always found it weird how is name is in the title; I'm sure it wasn't there originally, and I'm sure our culture is responsible for this mutilation. Either way, I know this piece is , cliché but don't judge. We all go there sometimes.)

4. Waltz in C sharp minor by Chopin

(Romantic, but not so Romantic that I get distracted. Serious... like it.)

Awake

I should be sleeping. Have to get up early for finals prep. My mind is busy, with superfluous things, and is not equipped for study. However, I am not annoyed. I'm happy, in a way that comes when one is alone with one's thoughts, and is listening to good music.

I searched for some new songs tonight. Wasn't in the mood for classical music, but instead was in the mood for some indie-acoustic jams.

Tonight's playlist is:

1. Fall Hard by the Shout Out Louds

2. Stole My Heart by Little&Ashley

3. The Start of Something by Voxtrot

4. Learned to Surf (acoustic version) by Superchunk

All are love songs.... coincidence? No.